It is late.
I am up alone.
I am listening to my CD of Ireland sounds....birds, water, a train as it travels along the Irish coast....all set to the Ireland Orchestra.
It makes me breathe differently.
It makes me relax.
It makes me reflect.
Reflect on life, death, and all that happens in between.
There is a change happening.
Inside of me.
I suppose we all go through changes.
Some are by choice.
Some are imposed.
Perhaps it is good to welcome change no matter how it comes.
I will see if I can put some of this music on so everyone can hear it.
Maybe it will take others into a place of relaxation, deep thoughts and feelings.
If so, I am glad.
Saturday, September 08, 2012
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Just Thinking
I wish I knew what I wanted to write, but I don't. I think I am caught between wanting to review the last year and wanting to enjoy the present.
I think they are related.
It is the first time, in so long, that I am not thinking/worrying about something related to cancer.
Sarah is two years out and doing really well. For a while, in the last year, we were concerned that my other daughter, Kara, might be having symptoms of lymphoma. We have finally found someone who took her symptoms seriously and she has been cleared. My daughter-in-law, Sara Beth, had a mass behind her lung that needed to be surgically removed and biopsied. She has been cleared. No cancer!
How do I say it? How do I say that I don't have to wonder or worry anymore?
What I know is, once cancer has touched your life, you don't go back to a pre-cancer world. You know you are no longer invulnerable. You learn....I think I am still learning...how to go about life without cancer being at the center.
I am sitting in my favorite chair listening to a beautiful CD of Irish nature sounds......birds, water...even the sound of a train as it travels the coast of Ireland and I am feeling so thankful for my life.
I am still wanting to review the last year. I have had so many thoughts of my dad, who died in December of 2011. He enters my thoughts so many times.
When we were in Ireland recently I visited a cheese and fudge shop at one of the tourist sites. They had a whole room of cheese that was aging. My dad was a cheesemaker. How he would have loved seeing that. I bought a magnet of the cheese room. I bought it for him. I bought it for me.
I have things I want to write about. I might be getting ready to do just that.
I think they are related.
It is the first time, in so long, that I am not thinking/worrying about something related to cancer.
Sarah is two years out and doing really well. For a while, in the last year, we were concerned that my other daughter, Kara, might be having symptoms of lymphoma. We have finally found someone who took her symptoms seriously and she has been cleared. My daughter-in-law, Sara Beth, had a mass behind her lung that needed to be surgically removed and biopsied. She has been cleared. No cancer!
How do I say it? How do I say that I don't have to wonder or worry anymore?
What I know is, once cancer has touched your life, you don't go back to a pre-cancer world. You know you are no longer invulnerable. You learn....I think I am still learning...how to go about life without cancer being at the center.
I am sitting in my favorite chair listening to a beautiful CD of Irish nature sounds......birds, water...even the sound of a train as it travels the coast of Ireland and I am feeling so thankful for my life.
I am still wanting to review the last year. I have had so many thoughts of my dad, who died in December of 2011. He enters my thoughts so many times.
When we were in Ireland recently I visited a cheese and fudge shop at one of the tourist sites. They had a whole room of cheese that was aging. My dad was a cheesemaker. How he would have loved seeing that. I bought a magnet of the cheese room. I bought it for him. I bought it for me.
I have things I want to write about. I might be getting ready to do just that.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Welcoming Myself Back To Posting
It has been so long since I have posted. The time since I last posted has come and gone in a flash. I think there was a reason for that. I tend to trust myself.
Since I last posted, I have discovered there have been changes to this blog. You know, there is always something that is new and improved. With a smile I say I am a creature of habit and don't like change. I will have to get acquainted with the new format if I am to write from my heart.
I have lots to say. I have lots to share.
Today has been a day of reflection on so many things.
I will write again.
Friday, February 24, 2012
A Very Important Wednesday Night And A Slideshow Of My Dad's 99th Birthday Party
Last night I was looking at pictures, videos and slideshows I have stored on my laptop. I found this slideshow I made of my dad's 99th birthday party in September, 2011. I thought I had posted it on my blog, but it doesn't seem to be the case.
I wondered if I should watch it.
Was I doing ok enough to watch it.
I decided I was.
About two weeks ago.....it was a Wednesday night...I was alone for the night...Tom was at choir practice...and I had watched the video of the ballet (my previous post) a number of times....
That video touched me so deeply...it found and opened the closet door of so many feelings over the last two years...feelings I simply haven't had time to feel...life has been too busy and too full....I handled it all...some might even think I was amazingly functional...
And, I was....I did everything that I needed to....things came one on top of the other...each and every one was anything but emotionally neutral...no...there was nothing emotionally neutral about the last two years....
On that Wednesday night...the night I was alone...alone in my house...sitting in my chair in the basement...out it came....
I didn't plan it...I didn't know it was going to happen....
I started to scream...I screamed loud and long...I screamed from a place in me that I didn't know existed....it came from the depths of me...there were no words....there were no thoughts....only screams...and then it stopped....I cried some tears....and then it was over...
I have felt different ever since....
I watched two other videos online that affected me too. One was the video of Ben Breedlove made prior to his death. If you haven't seen it, you can type Ben Breedlove into google and it will come up. I also watched a video of Ben's sister giving a eulogy at Ben's funeral. She talked about a conversation she had with Ben the night before he died.
In essence, what she learned from Ben, who had courted death a number of times in his young life, and even visited heaven...died and came back..was that heaven was beyond description, filled with peace and calm, and a place he didn't want to leave. He said to his sister, something to this effect..."Heaven is God's gift to us and our being alive and living life is our gift to God."
I thought about that. And, I knew that my mom, dad and Briana...all who have died in the last two years were in a wonderful place. I knew they were safe, whole and happy.
I thought about Sarah getting cancer. She is two years cancer free now. I thought about everything in life that has been given to me. I thought about that I am alive. I thought about how I live my life...and I mean LIVE my life...not just be alive.....and how that is my gift to God.
I kept saying over and over to myself..."I am alive...I am alive...I am alive..."
I am alive and how "I be alive" is how I give my gift to God.
Life has been different ever since the night I screamed. It just is. It doesn't change.
It feels like I have been in a dark tunnel for two years and on that Wednesday night screamed the door of the tunnel off, walked out and closed the door behind me. It is the only way I can come close to describing what I experienced.
It is possible for me to look at pictures of my dad now. I haven't been able to since his death. Some bring a tear, some bring a smile, and I often reach up to my laptop screen and touch his face with tightness in my throat. I GET to hear Sarah's voice. I GET to hug her. I GET to go to lunch with her, and I GET to listen to her plans for the life she GETS to have...
And, I GET to thank God for this new life that I GET to have. That new life comes with a sense of gratitude... a sense of freedom and a newly understood sense of responsibility. Yes, responsibility...responsibility to be thankful on a daily basis and live MY life to the fullest and give it as a gift.
I guess that was a lot to write about.
And, now there is the slideshow of my dad's 99th birthday party. His younger brother, Ernie, (95) was there and we did a joint celebration for the two of them. The cast of players at this party was his brother, daughters and their families, cousins, nieces, nephews, the social worker who has known my dad for years and gotten him involved in some senior activities etc., and two of his neighbors...lots and lots of family and people who loved him. In one group picture Sarah is holding up her phone to represent our son, Adam, so he and his family (they live in SC) could be part of the party too.
Some of the pictures with lots of people in seem to be the same picture, but they aren't. In each similar picture you can see different people laughing because of what was being said or faces that were being made. I have to tell you too...the last song, Tennessee Waltz, was my mom's favorite song. I can watch it and feel warm and glad the family got to do that. Family was his world. I love you dad. Thanks for the life you gave me. Love, Judy
I wondered if I should watch it.
Was I doing ok enough to watch it.
I decided I was.
About two weeks ago.....it was a Wednesday night...I was alone for the night...Tom was at choir practice...and I had watched the video of the ballet (my previous post) a number of times....
That video touched me so deeply...it found and opened the closet door of so many feelings over the last two years...feelings I simply haven't had time to feel...life has been too busy and too full....I handled it all...some might even think I was amazingly functional...
And, I was....I did everything that I needed to....things came one on top of the other...each and every one was anything but emotionally neutral...no...there was nothing emotionally neutral about the last two years....
On that Wednesday night...the night I was alone...alone in my house...sitting in my chair in the basement...out it came....
I didn't plan it...I didn't know it was going to happen....
I started to scream...I screamed loud and long...I screamed from a place in me that I didn't know existed....it came from the depths of me...there were no words....there were no thoughts....only screams...and then it stopped....I cried some tears....and then it was over...
I have felt different ever since....
I watched two other videos online that affected me too. One was the video of Ben Breedlove made prior to his death. If you haven't seen it, you can type Ben Breedlove into google and it will come up. I also watched a video of Ben's sister giving a eulogy at Ben's funeral. She talked about a conversation she had with Ben the night before he died.
In essence, what she learned from Ben, who had courted death a number of times in his young life, and even visited heaven...died and came back..was that heaven was beyond description, filled with peace and calm, and a place he didn't want to leave. He said to his sister, something to this effect..."Heaven is God's gift to us and our being alive and living life is our gift to God."
I thought about that. And, I knew that my mom, dad and Briana...all who have died in the last two years were in a wonderful place. I knew they were safe, whole and happy.
I thought about Sarah getting cancer. She is two years cancer free now. I thought about everything in life that has been given to me. I thought about that I am alive. I thought about how I live my life...and I mean LIVE my life...not just be alive.....and how that is my gift to God.
I kept saying over and over to myself..."I am alive...I am alive...I am alive..."
I am alive and how "I be alive" is how I give my gift to God.
Life has been different ever since the night I screamed. It just is. It doesn't change.
It feels like I have been in a dark tunnel for two years and on that Wednesday night screamed the door of the tunnel off, walked out and closed the door behind me. It is the only way I can come close to describing what I experienced.
It is possible for me to look at pictures of my dad now. I haven't been able to since his death. Some bring a tear, some bring a smile, and I often reach up to my laptop screen and touch his face with tightness in my throat. I GET to hear Sarah's voice. I GET to hug her. I GET to go to lunch with her, and I GET to listen to her plans for the life she GETS to have...
And, I GET to thank God for this new life that I GET to have. That new life comes with a sense of gratitude... a sense of freedom and a newly understood sense of responsibility. Yes, responsibility...responsibility to be thankful on a daily basis and live MY life to the fullest and give it as a gift.
I guess that was a lot to write about.
And, now there is the slideshow of my dad's 99th birthday party. His younger brother, Ernie, (95) was there and we did a joint celebration for the two of them. The cast of players at this party was his brother, daughters and their families, cousins, nieces, nephews, the social worker who has known my dad for years and gotten him involved in some senior activities etc., and two of his neighbors...lots and lots of family and people who loved him. In one group picture Sarah is holding up her phone to represent our son, Adam, so he and his family (they live in SC) could be part of the party too.
Some of the pictures with lots of people in seem to be the same picture, but they aren't. In each similar picture you can see different people laughing because of what was being said or faces that were being made. I have to tell you too...the last song, Tennessee Waltz, was my mom's favorite song. I can watch it and feel warm and glad the family got to do that. Family was his world. I love you dad. Thanks for the life you gave me. Love, Judy
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
My lia sophia Party and So Much More
I have always loved watching my kids grow up.
I have always loved watching my kids evolve and become who they wanted to be.
I have learned that I could never have planned their lives for them.
I have learned that their hopes and dreams belong to them.
It has been like watching an adventure movie, with twists and turns, changes of scene and new characters showing up. (And, I love all the characters!)
My daughter, Sarah, is almost two years out now from being diagnosed with breast cancer. It is hard to believe that two years has gone by, but it has. Life is broken down into three parts now. Life before cancer. Life during cancer. Life after cancer. Who you are in each of these thirds is different. All you have to do is look at pictures and you can see the outward and visible differences. What you don't see is the inward and invisible differences.
Sarah has started something new in her "life after cancer" third. She doesn't necessarily understand why she is loving what she is doing, but she is. Somehow, it excites her and makes her feel good. Somehow, she knows it is a forum for helping women. She is following her heart and responding to what feels right for her.
Sarah has become a lia sophia jewelry consultant. She went to a lia sophia party last year to support a friend. She agreed to host a party to help out that friend. I was at Sarah's party and agreed to host a party to help Sarah out. Sarah agreed to become a consultant so she could do my party.
This is making me laugh. If you are following this, I am glad.
The point is, Sarah is loving being a lia sophia consultant. It is fun. She loves the jewelry. The jewelry is beautiful and can be worn so many different ways. One necklace can become two or three different looks depending on what you want to do with it...wear it long....wear it doubled...wear it doubled and twisted...combine it with another necklace for a totally different look...slip part of the neckace into one of the links...it seems you get multiple necklaces for the price of one.
Sarah didn't aspire to become a jewelry consultant. It came as a direct result of helping out a friend. And, she knows there is something here that God is using her for. Little did she know, it would become a new thing, a new love, in her life.
It is not always up to us to know how we can or will affect someone else's life. Sometimes we just have to pay attention and say, "Yes." And, the rest will come. If we follow our hearts and do our part, we will know soon enough why we are doing what we are doing.
The party I had at my house on Saturday was such great fun! It was a small group. It was Sarah, my daughter Kara, Sarah's friend Kristi, and me. We abandoned some of the regular presentation and went straight to looking at and trying on the jewelry. It was like a bunch of girls doing "girl stuff." It was intimate. We talked and laughed. We took the time to pay attention to each other and say what looked good and what wasn't working. It is funny, but jewelry is not a "one type fits all."
Below are pictures of some of the jewelry. Sarah is still building her inventory. It will take time. But, there are catalogs to look at and a lia sophia website to visit. In fact, two other friends of Sarah's "came to my party" via the phone. They just talked to Sarah, told her what they wanted and Sarah could fill out the form. They ordered as though they were guests at my party, but did it by phone.
I can say that many of the things are even more beautiful in person. Some of them just make your jaw drop they are so pretty. And, the truth is, it is easy to feel pretty when you wear this jewelry. You just do.
Oh.....in addition.....hostessing a party is easy and fun! And, there are bonuses for hostessing a party. There are FABULOUS bonuses for hosting a party. Hostess prices on many of the pieces are really good. I got four beautiful pieces of jewelry at the bonus price. I will take pictures when I get them and post them. I just might break into song here any minute!
"I feel pretty...I feel pretty...I feel pretty and witty and gay." la la la....
Ok........here are the pictures....starting with Sarah.
The seven bracelets on the right come as a set. They are beautiful and can be mixed and matched with the gold one on the far left. The gold one on the far left also comes in the other metal colors. You can wear them all at once which makes them look like a cuff bracelet or break them up. Totally cool!
This chain is gorgeous. It has gold, silver, hematite, copper. It can be worn long or doubled or some of the chain can loop through one of the bigger links for a totally different look.
This necklace is stunning. It was one of the jaw-dropping pieces. In this picture it is doubled and twisted and catches the light so beautifully. And, yep, this is one that I am getting. In fact, the chain in the picture above, is also one I am getting. And, I am getting the seven piece bracelet set too. Shhh...that isn't all of it! I am getting more!
Yep, I will have a few pictures to share in a week or so.
Thank you Sarah for letting me be a part of this new adventure in your life. I am going to stand back and watch you evolve. I am going to watch and I am going to listen as the inward and invisible differences come to light. I will be right there, as this next third of your life takes shape, and it becomes clear how lia sophia will become an avenue for touching and helping other women.
I know, from my years of living, what appears on the surface is not necessarily the sum total of any life experience.
Yes, I am going to watch
Yes, I am going to listen.
It is the inner journey that tells the meaning.
I am just so lucky. I am just so very lucky.
I have always loved watching my kids evolve and become who they wanted to be.
I have learned that I could never have planned their lives for them.
I have learned that their hopes and dreams belong to them.
It has been like watching an adventure movie, with twists and turns, changes of scene and new characters showing up. (And, I love all the characters!)
My daughter, Sarah, is almost two years out now from being diagnosed with breast cancer. It is hard to believe that two years has gone by, but it has. Life is broken down into three parts now. Life before cancer. Life during cancer. Life after cancer. Who you are in each of these thirds is different. All you have to do is look at pictures and you can see the outward and visible differences. What you don't see is the inward and invisible differences.
Sarah has started something new in her "life after cancer" third. She doesn't necessarily understand why she is loving what she is doing, but she is. Somehow, it excites her and makes her feel good. Somehow, she knows it is a forum for helping women. She is following her heart and responding to what feels right for her.
Sarah has become a lia sophia jewelry consultant. She went to a lia sophia party last year to support a friend. She agreed to host a party to help out that friend. I was at Sarah's party and agreed to host a party to help Sarah out. Sarah agreed to become a consultant so she could do my party.
This is making me laugh. If you are following this, I am glad.
The point is, Sarah is loving being a lia sophia consultant. It is fun. She loves the jewelry. The jewelry is beautiful and can be worn so many different ways. One necklace can become two or three different looks depending on what you want to do with it...wear it long....wear it doubled...wear it doubled and twisted...combine it with another necklace for a totally different look...slip part of the neckace into one of the links...it seems you get multiple necklaces for the price of one.
Sarah didn't aspire to become a jewelry consultant. It came as a direct result of helping out a friend. And, she knows there is something here that God is using her for. Little did she know, it would become a new thing, a new love, in her life.
It is not always up to us to know how we can or will affect someone else's life. Sometimes we just have to pay attention and say, "Yes." And, the rest will come. If we follow our hearts and do our part, we will know soon enough why we are doing what we are doing.
The party I had at my house on Saturday was such great fun! It was a small group. It was Sarah, my daughter Kara, Sarah's friend Kristi, and me. We abandoned some of the regular presentation and went straight to looking at and trying on the jewelry. It was like a bunch of girls doing "girl stuff." It was intimate. We talked and laughed. We took the time to pay attention to each other and say what looked good and what wasn't working. It is funny, but jewelry is not a "one type fits all."
Below are pictures of some of the jewelry. Sarah is still building her inventory. It will take time. But, there are catalogs to look at and a lia sophia website to visit. In fact, two other friends of Sarah's "came to my party" via the phone. They just talked to Sarah, told her what they wanted and Sarah could fill out the form. They ordered as though they were guests at my party, but did it by phone.
I can say that many of the things are even more beautiful in person. Some of them just make your jaw drop they are so pretty. And, the truth is, it is easy to feel pretty when you wear this jewelry. You just do.
Oh.....in addition.....hostessing a party is easy and fun! And, there are bonuses for hostessing a party. There are FABULOUS bonuses for hosting a party. Hostess prices on many of the pieces are really good. I got four beautiful pieces of jewelry at the bonus price. I will take pictures when I get them and post them. I just might break into song here any minute!
"I feel pretty...I feel pretty...I feel pretty and witty and gay." la la la....
Ok........here are the pictures....starting with Sarah.
The seven bracelets on the right come as a set. They are beautiful and can be mixed and matched with the gold one on the far left. The gold one on the far left also comes in the other metal colors. You can wear them all at once which makes them look like a cuff bracelet or break them up. Totally cool!
This chain is gorgeous. It has gold, silver, hematite, copper. It can be worn long or doubled or some of the chain can loop through one of the bigger links for a totally different look.
This necklace is stunning. It was one of the jaw-dropping pieces. In this picture it is doubled and twisted and catches the light so beautifully. And, yep, this is one that I am getting. In fact, the chain in the picture above, is also one I am getting. And, I am getting the seven piece bracelet set too. Shhh...that isn't all of it! I am getting more! Yep, I will have a few pictures to share in a week or so.
Thank you Sarah for letting me be a part of this new adventure in your life. I am going to stand back and watch you evolve. I am going to watch and I am going to listen as the inward and invisible differences come to light. I will be right there, as this next third of your life takes shape, and it becomes clear how lia sophia will become an avenue for touching and helping other women.
I know, from my years of living, what appears on the surface is not necessarily the sum total of any life experience.
Yes, I am going to watch
Yes, I am going to listen.
It is the inner journey that tells the meaning.
I am just so lucky. I am just so very lucky.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
In The Arms of the Angels
Oh, how I hope this works. At the bottom of this post is a link to click on to hear this most beautiful song sung by Sarah McLachlan and Josh Groban.
I got this in an email today from a site I have really enjoyed. It is so beautiful and gives me some peace with the passing of my dad.I wasn't expecting to feel the grief, the way I am, as I took my Christmas decorations down. I realized that once Christmas was over, there was nothing between me and the grief anymore. So, I started to feel.
I also realized as I looked at pictures of my mom and dad, that so long as my dad was alive, my mom was still here too. Now, it feels like I have lost both of them.
My mom died in 2001. I know it makes no sense. But, that is the way it is hitting me.Who am I to question life?
Who am I to question death?
Last night, as I lay in bed, I got an image of my mom and dad as they were in a picture from long ago. It made me smile and brought me some peace.I wonder when the images of my dad will go away. Perhaps, never.
I find it hard to look at pictures. And, when I look at videos, it is his voice that I love. So, in the arms of the angels, my dad is pain free and holding my mom in his arms.
Please click on the link below to hear this beautiful song.
www.godvine.com/In-the-Arms-of-an-Angel-Duet-by-Josh-Groban-and-Sarah-McLachlan-1023.html
Monday, December 26, 2011
Christmas 2011 ... A Slideshow
Christmas 2011 was a Christmas filled with so many emotions. With my dad's dying on December 10, our family was keenly aware that the oldest member of our family would be looking down on us and watching us do our best to carry on the family traditions. He would have loved the decorations, the lights, the food, the talk, the laughter and the sounds of the children.
I placed the sweater my dad always wore over his chair at the dining room table. It made it feel like he was there.
We celebrated Christmas in the spirit of family, and family is what my dad was all about!
I hope you enjoy the slideshow. Merry Christmas and thank you to everyone who has held me and my family in your thoughts, prayers and loving arms! Judy
I placed the sweater my dad always wore over his chair at the dining room table. It made it feel like he was there.
We celebrated Christmas in the spirit of family, and family is what my dad was all about!
I hope you enjoy the slideshow. Merry Christmas and thank you to everyone who has held me and my family in your thoughts, prayers and loving arms! Judy
Thursday, December 22, 2011
When The Silence Comes
(Dante's Prayer) Click to play.
My last post was on December 4th.
On December 10th, I got the call I didn't want to get.
My wonderful dad breathed his last breath. He died within a few minutes. If he wasn't in pain or fear I am glad. Glad for him. I wanted him longer, but not if he was in pain or unable to be in life as he had been for his 99 years.
I have been surrounded by my family. Each day I have been able to see them is like Christmas to me.
I know Christmas Day, this year, will not be the same as it has been for many years. My dad had two places in my house that he sat. He always sat on one cushion of my couch in my fireplace room as the family visited. And, he had his place at my dining room table for years.
It is when I think of seeing him in those two places that I feel the emptiness of his not being here.
I have kept busy. There is Christmas to prepare for. My house is the Christmas house. There are little ones who still want and need the magic of Christmas. There have been presents to buy. There has been food to buy. There are presents that are still unwrapped.
There is a heart inside me that is ok so long as there are things to do and people to be with.
But, the things get done and the people go home.
And, I am left with the silence.
It is in the silence that my throat unclogs and the screams of loss are heard.
It is silent no more.
I miss my dad.
I don't like this.
I don't like this at all.
And, I just breathed clear down.
Maybe I will sleep tonight.
Because I broke the silence.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
Christmas Magic
Please......open the door and come on in. Welcome to my world, and welcome to my Christmas house!
Be prepared to have your heart melt as you watch the magic of Christmas in Jackson's face and experience the innocence and pure joy as he discovers things in my Christmas tree room.
Be prepared to have your heart melt as you watch the magic of Christmas in Jackson's face and experience the innocence and pure joy as he discovers things in my Christmas tree room.
In this last video I am remembering my mom, who died in 2001. Our last Christmas with her was in 2000. The last thing I did with her was, as she sat in her wheelchair at my kitchen table shortly before going home, my sister, Linda, and I sang Silent Night with her. It was pure majic.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Silence Has Words
(Dante's Prayer) Click to play.
In my silence there is a volume of words. I am internal right now. Sometimes, in this silence, even I don't know the words that are unspoken.
And, then............words come...words I didn't know were there come in the darkness of night.
There are two years of words.
There are words, that if I speak them out loud, make the last two years real.
If the last two years are real, I have to feel them.
And, I finally can.
I know there is healing in the spoken word.
I know there is healing in the daring to feel unwanted realities.
And, that is the truth of the matter tonight.
The other truth is I have the hiccups : )
There are some truths that just simply have some humor.
So, I am off to bed, all the better for breaking my silence with a few words.
In my silence there is a volume of words. I am internal right now. Sometimes, in this silence, even I don't know the words that are unspoken.
And, then............words come...words I didn't know were there come in the darkness of night.
There are two years of words.
There are words, that if I speak them out loud, make the last two years real.
If the last two years are real, I have to feel them.
And, I finally can.
I know there is healing in the spoken word.
I know there is healing in the daring to feel unwanted realities.
And, that is the truth of the matter tonight.
The other truth is I have the hiccups : )
There are some truths that just simply have some humor.
So, I am off to bed, all the better for breaking my silence with a few words.
Friday, October 14, 2011
How To Enjoy Recovery From Surgery
I am finding being the nurse at home is multi-dimensional. I have temporarily taken over the things Tom used to do. I cook, tidy things up, converse, so Tom has some company, bring things to Tom that he needs, protect his environment by removing the phone from the bedroom so it won't wake him, change the dressing on his incision, make sure he has soft, yet enough, light to work by, go up and down the stairs multiple times during the day, which is teaching me to stop and think before I leave the floor I am on and all this is good.
You see, we live in a two story home with a mostly finished basement. My computer is two floors down from where Tom is. You may wonder how we stay in touch. That was a simple problem to solve. He calls me on his cell phone. It works really well. I also check on him to see if he is sleeping and if all is well. We have worked out a system that feels mutually respectful.
I know that the energy in the house is important. Good energy can't help but promote healing and part of good energy is humor. Humor heals.
Below is a video of gentle humor from this morning. Thanks Tom for being a good sport!
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Tom's Surgery Update
Tom's back surgery went really well. Dr. Kim got the piece of disc removed and now we need to see what the nerve wants to do. She couldn't tell us that. She said ... "First, the nerve needs to heal and then we will see what happens. Recovery could mean weeks to months." What I think that means is we won't know for a while whether or not the foot will change and to what degree. There is no noticeable difference yet in how high he can raise the toes on his left foot. He only has occasional pain in his left calf. He is still limping when he walks. His mood is good and I think he is actually enjoying a part of letting others take care of him.
It is easy to want an instant result and I don't think that is in the cards. I asked if we could have a referral to a physical therapist and the answer to that is, "Yes." We were both pleased with that because we had heard not all surgeons will make that referral.
Tom is home. From the time we left home on Tuesday at 8:00 a.m. and when I brought him home at approximately 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday he had had back surgery. 24 hours....from check in to check out!
Tom will be a patient of mine for up to the next three weeks. I am his nurse now and so far he hasn't fired me : ) I pretty much try to have all his needs met that he doesn't even know he needs before he knows he needs anything at all. Raise your hand if you followed that last sentence.
I have posted three pictures since so many of you have emailed or called to check in and see how he is doing. We are taking things a day at a time and honoring his need to rest and eat well and walk a little and talk a little. It is nice to take care of him and have him be so appreciative. I think there is something to one's attitude and one's healing.
Tom on drugs....he was happy and fun...I think he felt no pain
Tom at home recovering...notice his side table, bed tray and bed desk
It is easy to want an instant result and I don't think that is in the cards. I asked if we could have a referral to a physical therapist and the answer to that is, "Yes." We were both pleased with that because we had heard not all surgeons will make that referral.
Tom is home. From the time we left home on Tuesday at 8:00 a.m. and when I brought him home at approximately 8:30 a.m. on Wednesday he had had back surgery. 24 hours....from check in to check out!
Tom will be a patient of mine for up to the next three weeks. I am his nurse now and so far he hasn't fired me : ) I pretty much try to have all his needs met that he doesn't even know he needs before he knows he needs anything at all. Raise your hand if you followed that last sentence.
I have posted three pictures since so many of you have emailed or called to check in and see how he is doing. We are taking things a day at a time and honoring his need to rest and eat well and walk a little and talk a little. It is nice to take care of him and have him be so appreciative. I think there is something to one's attitude and one's healing.
Tom being wheeled away to surgery
Tom on drugs....he was happy and fun...I think he felt no pain
Tom at home recovering...notice his side table, bed tray and bed deskThe adjustable bed is the one I got when Sarah had cancer so she could recover as easily as possible. It is working perfectly for Tom as well.
You know, life is good. Yesterday, I asked Tom how he was feeling about everything. He said, "The whole experience has been ideal. We have good doctors who got us in for appointments immediately and Dr. Kim, the neurosurgeon rearranged her schedule to fit us in for surgery right away. We are really lucky."
In our new office building there is a physical therapy office on the top floor. I checked to see if they take Medicare and they do. It seems we should be able to have Tom do his PT right in our own building.
All in all, the surgery and the recovery are good. All of your thoughts, love, caring and prayers meant and continue to mean a lot. Recovery comes in stages. Right now we couldn't be more pleased or more optimistic.
Thanks everybody........
Love, Judy
Monday, October 10, 2011
Update On Tom
My last post left off with letting you all know that Tom was scheduled to see a neurosurgeon concerning his left foot drop. The appointment was last Thursday and no time was wasted getting him scheduled for surgery.
A small piece of disc, that has broken off in the area of L5 S1, is pressing on the nerve root and it is stopping the communication that tells the leg muscle to lift the toes/foot.
I would like to say we can be confident there will be a full/permanent recovery. I can't. It seems there are "windows" of opportunity when maximum recovery can be expected. We have missed the first window and are now into the second window. We may or may not get full recovery. It is possible we will get only partial recovery.
Check in time is 8:30 a.m. and surgery is scheduled for 11:00. My daughters, Sarah and Kara, will be spending most, if not all, the day with me. That is how we do it. We do these things together. I know our son, Adam, would be with us too if he weren't so far away. He has kept in close touch by phone.
Please send your thoughts, love and prayers for Tom, me, our family, the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologist.....all those who love and care for Tom. I believe in the power of prayer.
I will post as soon as I can to share the result of tomorrow's surgery.
A small piece of disc, that has broken off in the area of L5 S1, is pressing on the nerve root and it is stopping the communication that tells the leg muscle to lift the toes/foot.
I would like to say we can be confident there will be a full/permanent recovery. I can't. It seems there are "windows" of opportunity when maximum recovery can be expected. We have missed the first window and are now into the second window. We may or may not get full recovery. It is possible we will get only partial recovery.
Check in time is 8:30 a.m. and surgery is scheduled for 11:00. My daughters, Sarah and Kara, will be spending most, if not all, the day with me. That is how we do it. We do these things together. I know our son, Adam, would be with us too if he weren't so far away. He has kept in close touch by phone.
Please send your thoughts, love and prayers for Tom, me, our family, the doctors, nurses, anesthesiologist.....all those who love and care for Tom. I believe in the power of prayer.
I will post as soon as I can to share the result of tomorrow's surgery.
Tuesday, October 04, 2011
Judy Explains
It has been almost two months since I last posted. I feel bad. I have had so many wonderful people who supported and encouraged me over the last half year as I trained for the 3 Day for the Cure.
I want to explain why I haven't posted. I thought it might get easier, but in fact, it is getting harder.
I walked most of the walk on Friday. With reluctance, but with cheers from my team mates, I hopped a short ride in the sweep van. That gave me a little time to cool down and rest up. I walked Saturday morning, but believe I got dehydrated, so did not walk Saturday afternoon. I joined the ranks of the cheering section along with Dave, Davey, Derek, Jackson and Tom.
Saturday night, I drank gallons of Powerade and got a good rest. By Sunday morning I was raring to go. As we were walking a sidewalk somewhere in St. Paul, my cell phone rang. It was Tom. He told me my dad was in the emergency room at St. Francis hospital. Sarah was a little ahead of me, and as she looked back to see what was happening, knew instantly this was probably about my dad, and said, "You're done!"
As soon as Tom could come get us we headed to the hospital. We believe he had a TIA, small stroke, and I spent the rest of Sunday and Monday at the hospital. Sarah was able to go back to finish the walk and share in the final celebration.
He is old. They can't do anything. Anything they could do would be too risky and could change his quality of life. So, we were sent home to take good care of him and spend as much time enjoying him as we can. It is hard. He looks so good on the outside, but things on the inside are wearing out. It is hard to let it in that our time is limited.
A week later, on September 4, we had a 99th birthday party for him. Following the party, the focus shifted to moving Tom's and my office, which I have been working on for probably four + months.
Everything that has happened seems to be happening so close together, it seems they are happening simultaneously. And, they all have emotion attached. There was no time to recover from the walk. I guess maybe I kept right on walking. I kept walking into the next life changing event or transition.
I haven't had time to feel. I knew if I wrote I would feel. I knew I had to feel. I just didn't know when.
Last week, I thought...ok...things are slowing down...coming to an end...the office is coming along...that was the last big thing that needed my attention....I can relax a little and do a post...I felt like I had abandoned the people who cared about me...I wanted to write and explain once I felt I could take some time...to let go and let down...
It didn't happen. I am doing a post, but not because I can let down. I am doing a post because if I don't, I don't know when I will be able to.
While we were moving, Tom got some hip pain. The pain moved down his left thigh, left calf, left ankle and then his left foot dropped.
He had an MRI last Friday and our primary doctor urged us to make an appointment with a neurosurgeon. With help from our doctor, a neurosurgeon has made room in her schedule to see Tom this Thursday, October 6.
I don't know what will happen. Our doctor was adamant we get in to a neurosurgeon ASAP. She said, if the neurosurgeon looks at the MRI, time will be made ... and it was.
So...to my dear family and friends and all who read and follow my blog...I wanted you to know why so much time has gone by since my last post. Life just got big. Then, it got bigger. And, it seems it is still getting bigger for now.
I got to have a few tears this morning. I held it together until I said thank you to the nice girl, named Holly, who called from Dr. Kim's clinic. She has a nice voice and she gave me good news. "We have scheduled Thomas for this Thursday, October 6, at 10:30."
Sometimes a job is so much more than a job. Amazing the gratitude and relief I felt hearing an appointment had been scheduled. I will tell Holly what a nice voice she has.
I will write more. I will write again. I promise. I will write for you and I will write for me.
Love,
Judy
I want to explain why I haven't posted. I thought it might get easier, but in fact, it is getting harder.
I walked most of the walk on Friday. With reluctance, but with cheers from my team mates, I hopped a short ride in the sweep van. That gave me a little time to cool down and rest up. I walked Saturday morning, but believe I got dehydrated, so did not walk Saturday afternoon. I joined the ranks of the cheering section along with Dave, Davey, Derek, Jackson and Tom.
Saturday night, I drank gallons of Powerade and got a good rest. By Sunday morning I was raring to go. As we were walking a sidewalk somewhere in St. Paul, my cell phone rang. It was Tom. He told me my dad was in the emergency room at St. Francis hospital. Sarah was a little ahead of me, and as she looked back to see what was happening, knew instantly this was probably about my dad, and said, "You're done!"
As soon as Tom could come get us we headed to the hospital. We believe he had a TIA, small stroke, and I spent the rest of Sunday and Monday at the hospital. Sarah was able to go back to finish the walk and share in the final celebration.
He is old. They can't do anything. Anything they could do would be too risky and could change his quality of life. So, we were sent home to take good care of him and spend as much time enjoying him as we can. It is hard. He looks so good on the outside, but things on the inside are wearing out. It is hard to let it in that our time is limited.
A week later, on September 4, we had a 99th birthday party for him. Following the party, the focus shifted to moving Tom's and my office, which I have been working on for probably four + months.
Everything that has happened seems to be happening so close together, it seems they are happening simultaneously. And, they all have emotion attached. There was no time to recover from the walk. I guess maybe I kept right on walking. I kept walking into the next life changing event or transition.
I haven't had time to feel. I knew if I wrote I would feel. I knew I had to feel. I just didn't know when.
Last week, I thought...ok...things are slowing down...coming to an end...the office is coming along...that was the last big thing that needed my attention....I can relax a little and do a post...I felt like I had abandoned the people who cared about me...I wanted to write and explain once I felt I could take some time...to let go and let down...
It didn't happen. I am doing a post, but not because I can let down. I am doing a post because if I don't, I don't know when I will be able to.
While we were moving, Tom got some hip pain. The pain moved down his left thigh, left calf, left ankle and then his left foot dropped.
He had an MRI last Friday and our primary doctor urged us to make an appointment with a neurosurgeon. With help from our doctor, a neurosurgeon has made room in her schedule to see Tom this Thursday, October 6.
I don't know what will happen. Our doctor was adamant we get in to a neurosurgeon ASAP. She said, if the neurosurgeon looks at the MRI, time will be made ... and it was.
So...to my dear family and friends and all who read and follow my blog...I wanted you to know why so much time has gone by since my last post. Life just got big. Then, it got bigger. And, it seems it is still getting bigger for now.
I got to have a few tears this morning. I held it together until I said thank you to the nice girl, named Holly, who called from Dr. Kim's clinic. She has a nice voice and she gave me good news. "We have scheduled Thomas for this Thursday, October 6, at 10:30."
Sometimes a job is so much more than a job. Amazing the gratitude and relief I felt hearing an appointment had been scheduled. I will tell Holly what a nice voice she has.
I will write more. I will write again. I promise. I will write for you and I will write for me.
Love,
Judy
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The Training Continues....The Day Is Coming
What a beautiful day! What a beautiful place I live. What a beautiful place I have to train for the 3-Day.
This is the last weekend of clocking the miles before the 3-Day for the Cure. Today was a 10mile day and tomorrow is an 8 mile day.
I cannot believe how much better I am at walking the miles and how much I look forward to walking now.
If you read my previous post, you will remember something good happened to me while sitting on the bench along the path. I came to some kind of peace with this whole event. I found a calm and peace inside myself that resulted in a wonderful perspective.
I know now that I am not going to miss the walk. Maybe that sounds funny, but there has been such an emphasis on the training, and really, I did go straight from my recliner to the treadmill when I signed up for this, that I had serious questions about being able to do this and come out of it alive. With so many questions about my ability, I think I have carried a little bit of worry.
And....and.....and....I don't anymore!
Not only can I say, "Let's do this!," I can say, "I know I can do this and I know I will see, hear and feel every single moment!"
I am going to walk for so many people. I am going to walk with my daughter. I am going to thank God that I am walking with my daughter. I have been given this gift to walk with Sarah. Thank you God.
So, today was another one of those beautiful days. The sky was blue. The clouds were absolutely exquisite. The last one and a half miles were shared with Tom and my new pocket camera.
I bought it new so I would be able to take pictures and videos on the walk next weekend. I hope I captured some of the beauty of the day. Please enjoy the pictures and the video.
The countdown is starting! I am happy! I am calm! I am at peace!
Let's do this!
Below is a video from the last part of my walk. Listen to the sounds and enjoy the beauty of this day. I am so lucky to live so close to Medicine Lake. It has become an important part of my training.
This is the last weekend of clocking the miles before the 3-Day for the Cure. Today was a 10mile day and tomorrow is an 8 mile day.
I cannot believe how much better I am at walking the miles and how much I look forward to walking now.
If you read my previous post, you will remember something good happened to me while sitting on the bench along the path. I came to some kind of peace with this whole event. I found a calm and peace inside myself that resulted in a wonderful perspective.
I know now that I am not going to miss the walk. Maybe that sounds funny, but there has been such an emphasis on the training, and really, I did go straight from my recliner to the treadmill when I signed up for this, that I had serious questions about being able to do this and come out of it alive. With so many questions about my ability, I think I have carried a little bit of worry.
And....and.....and....I don't anymore!
Not only can I say, "Let's do this!," I can say, "I know I can do this and I know I will see, hear and feel every single moment!"
I am going to walk for so many people. I am going to walk with my daughter. I am going to thank God that I am walking with my daughter. I have been given this gift to walk with Sarah. Thank you God.
So, today was another one of those beautiful days. The sky was blue. The clouds were absolutely exquisite. The last one and a half miles were shared with Tom and my new pocket camera.
I bought it new so I would be able to take pictures and videos on the walk next weekend. I hope I captured some of the beauty of the day. Please enjoy the pictures and the video.
The countdown is starting! I am happy! I am calm! I am at peace!
Let's do this!
Below is a video from the last part of my walk. Listen to the sounds and enjoy the beauty of this day. I am so lucky to live so close to Medicine Lake. It has become an important part of my training.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
One Week From Tomorrow
Where has the time gone? I think time drifts by, like clouds in the sky, without our even noticing.
The 3-Day for the Cure is one short week away. One week from today, Sarah and her best friend, Kimmie, will be coming to stay overnight. Bright and early the next day, Tom will be driving the three of us to the opening registration for the walk.
60 miles in 3 days. 60 miles in 3 days. Or, the best you can do. Everyone who has signed up, trained and earned the required $2300.00 in fundraising is already a winner in my book.
I walked 5.43 miles today. Today was a 5 mile training day, so that felt good. We are supposed to train wearing the shoes, socks and clothing we will be wearing for the 3-Day.
Today, I wore a pair of medium cushioned smartwool socks and my second pair of Mizuno shoes that I am breaking in. They were great. I have been wearing the thick cushioned smartwool socks up until now but I like the medium cushion inside this second pair of shoes.
I am also adjusting to contact lenses for the walk. I have a lens that has correction for astigmatism in my right eye, single vision, and a lens that has a bifocal in it, no astigmatism correction for my left eye. They worked well today. Funny how the brain adapts.
And, I wore my new hat. It is a great hat. It has a wide brim that will shade my face, a flap I can either velcro up or leave down to protect the back of my neck and it is made of wonderful, lightweight, breatheable fabric that protects from the hot sun and the UV rays. It was like walking under a shade umbrella. I purposely walked where there would be little shade to see if it really worked. I loved it.
I was walking the last half mile and decided to sit for a while on a bench. I want to take you to that bench because it was the most relaxed and peaceful I have felt for a long time.
I was alone. The sky was the most beautiful sky I have seen since I can't remember when. It was blue and was filled with white clouds that came in so many interesting shapes and sizes. I just sat and looked and breathed and thought this is what I want the walk to be like. I was so in the moment. For a long time no walkers or bikers came by. I was alone.
I looked at the clouds. I started to think about my mom. I thought how she would be proud of me for what I am doing. I started to look at the clouds to see if I could see her face. I wanted to see her. And, then, seemingly out of nowhere, I swear I saw an eagle gliding through the clouds. I spoke right out loud. "Was that an eagle? That was an eagle. I know it was an eagle." I didn't see it again. But, I knew it was my mom letting me know she was proud.
I was quiet. I smiled. I got up from the bench. I said, "This is how I want to feel on the walk."
I don't want to miss a moment of the walk. At one point when I was walking today I felt tired. I said, as I have all along, "You can do this. All you are is tired. That is all."
And, then, I had a nice thought. I will imagine that God will put wings on my feet when I need them. That made me smile too.
It has been a good day....a reflective day...a day of gratitude...a day of moments.
One more week and I will be amongst 2400 people who have come together for an incredible event. Never in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined what I am about to do. I am at peace.
The 3-Day for the Cure is one short week away. One week from today, Sarah and her best friend, Kimmie, will be coming to stay overnight. Bright and early the next day, Tom will be driving the three of us to the opening registration for the walk.
60 miles in 3 days. 60 miles in 3 days. Or, the best you can do. Everyone who has signed up, trained and earned the required $2300.00 in fundraising is already a winner in my book.
I walked 5.43 miles today. Today was a 5 mile training day, so that felt good. We are supposed to train wearing the shoes, socks and clothing we will be wearing for the 3-Day.
Today, I wore a pair of medium cushioned smartwool socks and my second pair of Mizuno shoes that I am breaking in. They were great. I have been wearing the thick cushioned smartwool socks up until now but I like the medium cushion inside this second pair of shoes.
I am also adjusting to contact lenses for the walk. I have a lens that has correction for astigmatism in my right eye, single vision, and a lens that has a bifocal in it, no astigmatism correction for my left eye. They worked well today. Funny how the brain adapts.
And, I wore my new hat. It is a great hat. It has a wide brim that will shade my face, a flap I can either velcro up or leave down to protect the back of my neck and it is made of wonderful, lightweight, breatheable fabric that protects from the hot sun and the UV rays. It was like walking under a shade umbrella. I purposely walked where there would be little shade to see if it really worked. I loved it.
I was walking the last half mile and decided to sit for a while on a bench. I want to take you to that bench because it was the most relaxed and peaceful I have felt for a long time.
I was alone. The sky was the most beautiful sky I have seen since I can't remember when. It was blue and was filled with white clouds that came in so many interesting shapes and sizes. I just sat and looked and breathed and thought this is what I want the walk to be like. I was so in the moment. For a long time no walkers or bikers came by. I was alone.
I looked at the clouds. I started to think about my mom. I thought how she would be proud of me for what I am doing. I started to look at the clouds to see if I could see her face. I wanted to see her. And, then, seemingly out of nowhere, I swear I saw an eagle gliding through the clouds. I spoke right out loud. "Was that an eagle? That was an eagle. I know it was an eagle." I didn't see it again. But, I knew it was my mom letting me know she was proud.
I was quiet. I smiled. I got up from the bench. I said, "This is how I want to feel on the walk."
I don't want to miss a moment of the walk. At one point when I was walking today I felt tired. I said, as I have all along, "You can do this. All you are is tired. That is all."
And, then, I had a nice thought. I will imagine that God will put wings on my feet when I need them. That made me smile too.
It has been a good day....a reflective day...a day of gratitude...a day of moments.
One more week and I will be amongst 2400 people who have come together for an incredible event. Never in my wildest dreams, could I have imagined what I am about to do. I am at peace.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Back To Training (I Hope) And My Names List
Sarah and me sitting on a bus stop bench with the beef jerky we brought for instant proteinI have so much I want to say in this post. Sometimes my thoughts come faster than my fingers can type.
After a three week break from my training for the 3-Day for the Cure, I hit the pavement yesterday with Sarah. It was hot, humid, sunny at times, breezy at times and always fun.
Well....sometimes it was too hot, too humid, too sunny...never too breezy and no matter what the weather conditions, it was always nice to be walking with Sarah.
We got a chance to talk. We talked about important things as we took breaks along the way. We talked of implants, changed bodies, people she knows whose cancer has come back...the need to celebrate the two year marker as that seems to be the time frame in which cancer often returns. At least, that is what she has been hearing in her Comfort Club, which she attends once a month.
We took frequent breaks. We sat on bus stop benches, stopped in at McDonald's, ate lunch at Applebee's, rested and got ice and cold water at Caribou Coffee and put ice chips on our foreheads, arms and down our shirts...ok..it was only me who did that last part.
We laughed. Then we laughed. And, we laughed some more. It was good to be back training together.
But, when we got back to my house and I took my left shoe off, my foot hurt on the instep and it looked like the bone was protruding. I iced it and Sarah called her doctor friend who told me how to treat it and I hope to be back training in a few days. For now, I am benched. It is best to take care of it immediately and then I will start training again with a little less vigor.
After a three week break from my training for the 3-Day for the Cure, I hit the pavement yesterday with Sarah. It was hot, humid, sunny at times, breezy at times and always fun.
Well....sometimes it was too hot, too humid, too sunny...never too breezy and no matter what the weather conditions, it was always nice to be walking with Sarah.
We got a chance to talk. We talked about important things as we took breaks along the way. We talked of implants, changed bodies, people she knows whose cancer has come back...the need to celebrate the two year marker as that seems to be the time frame in which cancer often returns. At least, that is what she has been hearing in her Comfort Club, which she attends once a month.
We took frequent breaks. We sat on bus stop benches, stopped in at McDonald's, ate lunch at Applebee's, rested and got ice and cold water at Caribou Coffee and put ice chips on our foreheads, arms and down our shirts...ok..it was only me who did that last part.
We laughed. Then we laughed. And, we laughed some more. It was good to be back training together.
But, when we got back to my house and I took my left shoe off, my foot hurt on the instep and it looked like the bone was protruding. I iced it and Sarah called her doctor friend who told me how to treat it and I hope to be back training in a few days. For now, I am benched. It is best to take care of it immediately and then I will start training again with a little less vigor.
I am keeping a list of names of people to walk for. The list has grown. I don't know what it is, but when I think of the names you have given me and remember your words, "Will you walk for?".......
Something happens to me. It becomes very personal. Saying your families and friends names makes each step I take have great meaning and helps me keep going...one step at a time.
If anyone wants me to say the name of a loved one, please let me know and I will add it to my list.
I will be carrying the list of names with me when I walk in August.
And, I will walk!
Something happens to me. It becomes very personal. Saying your families and friends names makes each step I take have great meaning and helps me keep going...one step at a time.
If anyone wants me to say the name of a loved one, please let me know and I will add it to my list.
I will be carrying the list of names with me when I walk in August.
And, I will walk!
I will walk for...........
Emma
Sharon
Carol
Barb
Danette
Priscilla
Robin
Becky
Elizabeth
Shirley
Cindy
Amber
Sarah
Angel
Lynn
Pat
Kathy
Karen
Curt
Betsy
Jennifer
Michelle
Vicki
Tina
Ellen
Janice
Keri
Mark
Gary
Emma
Sharon
Carol
Barb
Danette
Priscilla
Robin
Becky
Elizabeth
Shirley
Cindy
Amber
Sarah
Angel
Lynn
Pat
Kathy
Karen
Curt
Betsy
Jennifer
Michelle
Vicki
Tina
Ellen
Janice
Keri
Mark
Gary
Thank you everyone for all your support, love, care, encouragement, thoughts, hugs, smiles and prayers.
Love,
Judy
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Someone Remembered
I was reading the paper yesterday...the obituaries...and I saw the name of a woman who was a client of mine over the years.
I kept looking at her name. And, I felt her life. I felt her presence...her joy...her inimitable style...and I missed her.
I can't stop thinking about her. I have a unique privilege in life. I get to know a person in so many ways. I am so honored...honored that people who sit in my office share their hearts and souls and depths of their lives.
I guess I want to say that the people I meet touch my life. They are not a file or a case...they are a person....
And, they leave a mark in my life.
May God hold her loved ones in the palm of His hand.
You touched my life.
I kept looking at her name. And, I felt her life. I felt her presence...her joy...her inimitable style...and I missed her.
I can't stop thinking about her. I have a unique privilege in life. I get to know a person in so many ways. I am so honored...honored that people who sit in my office share their hearts and souls and depths of their lives.
I guess I want to say that the people I meet touch my life. They are not a file or a case...they are a person....
And, they leave a mark in my life.
May God hold her loved ones in the palm of His hand.
You touched my life.
Saturday, July 02, 2011
A Great Visit With Adam And Family
My son, Adam, and his family have been visiting this last week. It is the first time we have seen them since Christmas 2009. Adam was home for my niece, Briana's, funeral in February 2010, but otherwise we have been miles apart for far too long. Below is a slideshow of pictures set to music of the last few days. The cast of characters includes Adam, Sara Beth, Kallsen (6) Parker (5), Sarah, Dave, Davey (7), Derek (5) Jackson (3) Kara, Sam, Christopher (18) Amelia (13), her friend, Haley, my sister, Linda, brother-in-law, David, Tom, my dad and me.
Kara cut Adam's hair. They are twins. Adam gave Sarah, Kara and me head scratchers so when you see a picture of the three of us girls with things sticking out of our heads, that is what they are. We went to Music In Plymouth, the big 4th of July gala in our community, which was a spectacular night. And, we spent time with my 98 year old father. It was a happy week!
I love family. I love my family. To have the oldest member at 98, and the youngest member at 3, and everyone in between together was wonderful! My grandsons, Josh and Joseph, weren't able to be here and oh, how we missed them.
Adam, Sara Beth, Kallsen and Parker leave this morning to head back to South Carolina. Goodness gracious I am going to miss them! They are taking Amelia back with them for a ten day visit. Have fun Amelia!
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