"It"

Sarah was taken unaware. It was like the feelings came in the dark of night when she wasn't looking. Feelings do that sometimes.

She, all of a sudden, realized she is going to have surgery this month. Real surgery. Put under..all the way out....surgery.

It isn't like she didn't know that was going to happen. "It" has been on the calendar for some time now. She knew "it" was going to happen.

"It" is her final reconstruction surgery. "It" is the final step in this cancer journey we have been on, give or take Tamoxifen and blood draws for the next five years. "It," as she writes about it in her CaringBridge site, will make her as good as she is going to get. And, "it" will not be a return to her old body.

She didn't know she would feel like she does. She didn't know she would miss her old breasts. She didn't know she would miss her real breasts. Eight months ago the removal of them also removed the cancer. She didn't give it a second thought. She said, "Take them off!"

She didn't look back. She would not make any other decision if she could do it again. She did it because she has children. She did it because she wanted to live, whatever it took.

She just didn't see her feelings about "it" coming. She was taken unaware. They came while she was busy living her life.

Thank you God!