Wednesday, January 07, 2015

A Long Time

I haven't posted in a long time.  I haven't wanted to.  Since the end of July, 2014, life has dealt me a hand of cards that I didn't want to play.

At the end of July, my second daughter, Kara, was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma.  She didn't fit the profile.   She had been being watched and monitored for three years and was finally diagnosed.  She went through an excision of a lump in her neck, chemotherapy and radiation.  Following her chemotherapy she recovered at my house and I was her main caregiver. 

Following her chemotherapy treatments, and before her radiation treatments, her son, Christopher, was married in Cleveland, Ohio.  Kara was exhausted from her chemo, but with the help of a transport chair I bought, she was able to fly to Cleveland, attend the wedding, and experience each and every minute of the wedding. 

In the midst of her radiation treatments, her other son, Josh, was in need of gallbladder surgery.  That simple and routine surgery resulted in complications which resulted in multiple hospitalizations, a second reconstruction surgery, and recovery at my house.  On hold is a biopsy on a kidney cyst that looks suspicious.  Once again, I was the main caregiver.

If that weren't enough, on the morning I was to leave Cleveland, following the wedding, I learned that my best friend, soul friend, Joe from Ireland, had died at 3:00 a.m.....

My daughter, Sarah, and I made flight reservations to fly to Ireland the next day to attend Joe's funeral.  Joe was Sarah's son, Jackson's, Godfather.  At the end of this post I will post the song Jackson (age 6) created as he is dealing with Joe's death.

I write this with a heavy heart and both expressed and unexpressed grief.  I don't know if my grief over my friend, Joe's death will ever heal.  It was good to go to Ireland, good to see his body, and good to be a part of his Irish funeral.  Joe played such an important role in the life of our family.  He will never, ever be forgotten.

As I write this post I, along with everyone in our family, await the report on Josh's kidney biopsy. 

Here is Jackson's song that he made up as he ran around Sarah's house.  Sarah was able to capture all but a couple of words. 

Joe always used to say.......I love you very,  very much.  Jackson sang both his, and Joe's, words.

Joe, do you love me?
Very, very much?

Yes, I do.

Do you love me?

I do, I do, very, very much.
I want to be with you, but I'm dead.

I could be (missing word)...soul,
Walk over the clouds
(missing word) look down from the clouds
and say hello....

I'll never be without you.....