(Dante's Prayer) Click to play.
What better way to calm one's spirit than with music and nature.
Today has been a day of questions and uncertainty and what ifs. It has been a day of telling yourself not to worry. It has been a day of going about living as if everything was normal....as normal as it is when your daughter had cancer...and is, as far as we know, doing ok.
But......for the last three days my daughter has been bleeding.......on Tamoxifen.
Bleeding on Tamoxifen can mean any number of things I guess. One of the things it can be is a symptom of endomedrial cancer. It might just be her body coming back to a pre-menopausal state. Chemo shuts down your hormones and can put a young woman into menopause.
I might not make much sense tonight. I will do my best.
We have learned through this journey that what statistics say is not always true. Sarah's 36 year old cousin, Briana, died of uterine cancer, a cancer that strikes women my age...........68!! Briana died of it!!
Her main symptom was profuse bleeding that wouldn't stop. So, when my daughter was bleeding profusely for three days, we take note.
Sarah has contacted the oncologist's nurse and her gynocologist. She has an appointment tomorrow for an ultra sound, a doctor's appointment and a potential uterine biopsy. That is a "maybe biopsy" based on the doctor's appointment I guess.
I will be there. That doctor's appointment will be at the same office where she was told she had breast cancer. That alone, has some anxiety for her.
We are all believing everything will be ok. That is the mind talking. Funny how your body goes where your mind can't stop it.
For those who pray......pray.
For those who don't.......hold us in your thoughts.
Thanks..........hugs, Judy
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5 comments:
JUDY, everythings gonna be alright, I know. You and Sarah are two of the most precious people I have ever met in my life. What your faith and determination has done for me is impossible to put into words. I pray for both of you with all my mind, heart and soul. Sarah, I feel like I know you, as I do your Mom. luv ya both, hugsssss Bill
Judy, I am praying and holding you and Sarah in my thoughts. All I can say is when I read your post, I was thinking "this can't be happening" Love you
Hey Judy,
I am absorbing some of your fears tonight (and you know I'm good at doing that, right? smile). I am with you -- and you, Sarah, me, we are never alone. Rest assured you have help to handle whatever it is that comes your way.
Our first order of business is to have a prayer for Sarah herself.
We give thanks and praise for her well being, for her body's capacity to heal itself. To tolerate strong medicine and adapt to physical, hormonal and cellular changes. We give thanks for the beauty, music and life she adds to your day.
Father we ask a quick request for Sarah who is stressed inside and out and needs both the comfort of calmness from your Holy Spirit and the touch of the Master's Hand on her body during this time of medical intervention by a doctor's hands.
Give him or her the best help and Sarah the curing, healing and revitalizing she needs. Thank you.
I love you guys. I really believe things are going to be alright. Rest your mind. Keep the faith.
Big big HUGS and keep me posted,
Love, Laura
Judy,
You and Sarah are strongly in my prayers for tomorrow!
As i read your blog my sense and hope were that the bleeding is a sign that Sarah's body is returning to her pre-cancer, normal state. That's what I'm hoping!
God be with you!
sharon
Also Judes, at a recent bible study I went to, one of the leaders taught us a prayer - you inhale with the first line and exhale with the request: (try this one)
(Inhale) Come Lord Jesus,
(exhale) be my peace
(feel free to repeat this one over and over until you feel calm or just change the words to whatever fits for you at the time--I just made the rest of them up for myself to use as an example but the inhale/exhale prayer works pretty good for me)
(Inhale) Come Lord Jesus
(Exhale) forgive and heal me
(Inhale) Come Lord Jesus
(Exhale) comfort and love me
(Inhale) Come Lord Jesus
(Exhale) Grant me rest
One more thought.....I keep this one on my computer to remind me....
"Transparent Spring"
The transition between winter and spring is never predictable. After a time of darkness and confinement, we long for light, air and freedom. We seek change: space and openness, movement and flow.
Filled with new purpose, we clean out old structures. In uncertain times, we shine the light into dark places, and prepare for the challenges ahead. Transparency is the new watchword, the key to trust.
--Excerpt taken from Hearts of Space streaming, Stephen Hill--
Laura
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